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Friday, May 10, 2019

So what do you have to do for people to like being with you? It's simple.

As I mentioned in prior posts there's nothing special you have to do or trait you need for others to feel comfortable spending time with you.  People don't require you to be intellligent, humorous, interesting, physically attractive, share similar interests or backgrounds. All of those traits could even backfire, make others uncomfortable and push them away.  You don't even have to be friendly, kind, or a good listerner!  Even those could turn some people off.  People are already hard wired to want to be with people.  (Otherwise civilization woldn't exist, and instead we'd just be small separate klans of wandering nomads.)  All you have to do is MAKE them familiar with you.  In other words, they'll be comfortable just because they know you. What should you do to accomoplish this?  Simply disclose little bits of information about yourself.  It doesn't have to be sensitive personal infomation. It doesn't have to be interesting.  It could what kind of day you're having, how you spent your weekend, your hobbies, something about your family, where you grew up, what you think of the weather, a movie you saw,  even whether you're hungry or tired.  Literally just talk.  There is literally nothing you can say wrong (other than abuse, which many people unfortunately feel more comfortable with if that's familiar to them).  Remember, if you don't open up and disclose, then you're turning yourself into a "mystery", "the unknown," "the unfamiliar" to people, which makes them uncomfortable, queasy, you could even say a little afraid.  As you disclose small snippets, you'll see how easily other people open up to you. That's all there is.  A bond is formed.

1:26 pm edt 


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