RELATIONSHIP OCD (ROCD)
Before you consider breaking up an otherwise compatible relationship, consider whether you might have Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD sufferers doubt that they or their partner doesn't really love or feel attracted to the other. These doubts lead to fear that they or their mate will cheat, abandon, or entrap. ROCD sufferers compulsively check their mate's location, social interactions, tone of voice, telephone calls, and set up tests to see if their partner loves them. They ask for reassurance, then ask if you meant it, or even tell you to say in a scripted way.
Read more about Dr. Brodsky's treatment of ROCD.
Others doubt their own love for the other person, and fear that they themselves will be unfaithful. This makes them feel guilty and they compulsively test their attraction to their partner. They break up and make up many times, sometimes the same week. Many initially feel excited by a good first date, but quickly fear they'll be trapped or abandoned and can't tolerate a second date. They find every excuse of why it can't work out.
Listen for more Dr. Brodsky interviewed on ROCD and real "Runaway Brides".
Are your hot and cold feelings a genuine couples issue, jealousy, commitment phobia, or is it really ROCD? Get to the bottom of it and email a question to Dr. Brodsky for a free consultation within 24 hours. If you feel you're ready to start, you can make an appointment online or call 212-726-2390. Virtual teletherapy or in-person sessions are available nationwide in 34 states.
Dr. Steven Brodsky insists an accurate diagnosis is essential so get the right kind of therapy, saving an otherwise compatible relationship...(read more)
Unfortunately, couples therapy actually makes ROCD worse! A well-intentioned couples therapist might try to help either partner "think more rationally" to keep or end a relationship. Even a highly skilled couple's therapist only perpetuates the problem by helping the ROCD sufferer perform an unending series of reassurance-seeking compulsions, leaving the best couple's therapist baffled. The wrong type of therapy can destroy an otherwise compatible relationship. A conclusive diagnosis is critical so you get the right kind of therapy.
ROCD sufferers set up endless tests of their partner. "If he really loved me he'd never look at another woman." "If I really loved her I'd always be excited." "If I'm more physically attracted to a friend or a stranger on the street, that means I'll end up cheating and feel guilty." "If I yell at him and he doesn't remain calm, he has an anger problem and might abuse me." "If I play hard to get, and she doesn't pursue me, she'll abandon me."
And then there are the "milestone" ROCD triggers---holidays, anniversaries, birthdays. "If I take her out on Valentines Day I'll be stuck with her forever." "If I give him a gift on his birthday I'll be misleading him." "If she doesn't kiss me under the mistletoe that means we're not a match." And, "obviously if he forgot, he must have someone else on his mind." Ironically, it's exactly on these special moments that ROCD sufferers can break up an otherwise perfectly compatible relationship.
The anxiety of ROCD becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, dampens arousal, and fuels even more doubts, according to specialist Dr. Steven Brodsky who treats it. (Read more...)
Are you ready to get off the emotional roller coaster of anxiety? Do you want to finally break free of the vicious cycle of reassurance and doubt? Do you want to find out if your hot and cold feelings a genuine couples issue, jealousy, commitment phobia, or really ROCD? Are you finally ready to have love in your life? Get to the bottom of it and email a question to Dr. Brodsky for a free consultation within 24 hours. If you feel you're ready to start, you can make an appointment online now or call 212-726-2390. Virtual teletherapy or in-person sessions are available nationwide in 34 states. We're everywhere you are!